What sort of value are we providing to our personal relationships?

Take for example, the father who pays $100/week to send his son to a top-notch baseball trainer. That father might make the assumption that his investment in his child is a valuable gift, but in what way?

There is value in that experience, specific to sports skills, but the financial investment by the father adds only abstract value to the relationship that he has with his son. No matter how much it costs, it’s merely a money-gift, and the recipient can’t always quantify that.

Take now, the father who spends 2 hrs/week playing catch with his son in their yard instead. The relationship value added here is not abstract.

Depending on how much money the father makes, $100 could be a large investment or a small one. Money is relative. The child probably knows little about the value of a financial gift, since his father is the one who understands his own salary.

Our basic human instincts, which are largely how we perceive our personal relationships, do not take financial investments into high consideration. An investment of time, on the contrary, is absolute. 

The CEO of a company who is under scrutiny for not caring about the public’s well-being cannot donate money to a charity and expect suddenly to be seen as a philanthropist. People want to see the CEO get his hands dirty… picking up trash in an alley, speaking to an eager high school crowd, helping to build a house after a hurricane, etc. People want to see the CEO spending TIME, not money. They are not the same.

We cannot buy our relationships with money.

Time, on the other hand, is absolute. No matter how much money we make, we each only have 24 hours in a day. Deciding to gift several of those hours on another person has absolute value. If we want to build better relationships with our family, friends, peers, or employees, we need to consider what we are willing to spend on them.

 

**Side note:

In case you are reading this and do not know me personally: I am a huge advocate for healthy living. This article details one reason why I believe that health is an intricate factor in the success of our personal relationships.

Our longevity is directly related to the amount of time we feel comfortable spending on selfless pursuits. If each of us knew that we’d live to be 90 years old (rather than the declining national average – good article on that here), we’d be a little less prone to hoard every hour of our day, and in turn, might spend more time creating lasting relationships by giving our TIME, not our money.


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A note from the author:
CONTACT ME
Twitter | Facebook | InstagramYouTubejakob@myc.team

Serving you is my sincerest pleasure. Please, don’t hesitate to reach out with criticisms (be harsh), praise (not necessary), questions (answers), or just to say hello and chat (my favorite).

Love & Areté,
Jakob Gollon

About the Author Jakob Gollon

I have re-written this section countless times. This is the crisis of our generation, defining one's self in an 'about me' box knowing that 95% of our peers will log that as 'who we are' without ever speaking to us, because reading the long-version is just too cumbersome for our over-crowded, busy lives. // In short: I'm a polymath with a hyperactive mind, curious about and fascinated by the complexities of, basically, everything. I'm firmly committed to living a life of "areté"—omnipresent excellence, and my mottos are 'making the best of this life' (Mt. Botl), and "Do it now or forever wish you had". // I had a 'famed' basketball stint (captaining the 2014 Mercer team that upset Duke in NCAA Tourney + winning a Nat'l Title as a coach). I quit the sports industry all-together, cold turkey, soon after. I had an existential crisis with 'glory' and 'meaning' and other challenging thoughts revolving around how many hours (90+/week) I was spending trying to 'win games'. // Since 2017, I've been in pursuit of several entrepreneurial ideas and am educating myself on a few new areas of focus. The following is a condensed list of the countless curiosities and industries that I've explored, worked in, or studied the last 3 years (of which I will need to choose 1-3 of to focus on sooner than later). Writing, Podcasting, Teaching—Adjunct College Professor, Public Speaking + Workshops, Building & Construction, Sustainable Real Estate Development—Industrial + Urban Repurposing in particular, Negotiation, Marketing—Branding/design/communications, Woodwork, Gardening, Permaculture-based farming and homesteading, Psychology, Industrial Engineering—Process Improvement + UX consulting, Project Management, Renewable Energy, & Executive Coaching for (select) clients focusing on leadership, personal brand + career development, health habits, productivity, networking, and communication skills. Yes, all of it, and since I sleep minimally, and my mind races like an ostrich all day and night, I know a fair bit about each of those topics. I have an obsession with learning. I'm always looking to connect and have conversations with folks, so, hit me up. I hope my work brings you joy, value, a challenge, or a ripe perspective. Much love, Jakob

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