So, this isn’t really a “secret” anymore, but there are far too many folks who I run into that LOVE LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, but have NEVER HEARD this (seriously? you’re missing out on $ and health), so I decided to write a quick blog about it.
When people tell me they can’t afford healthy food, it’s frustrating [you just didn’t put that much effort into finding where to buy from].
I’ll fill you in, and then when you go become a member, I want you to use the exact link that I list below. Why? I make no bones about it, I want you to click my link when you sign up because I will get a $25 store credit when you sign up, AND YOU WILL GET 25% OFF. They’re cheap, they’re healthy, and they help families in need (scroll for more). C’mon, stop giving your money to Walmart or Kroger or wherever you grocery shop.
Jamie and I order from this place at least once a month to get our non-perishable groceries, body care supplies, and soaps from here (+ other things).
We’ve been saving money on our healthy goods for a LONG TIME now.
Especially if you don’t have a Whole Foods or Erewhon Market near your house, Thrive Market online should become a staple for you immediately.
They’re the CHEAPEST HEALTHY GOODS SHOP YOU WILL FIND.
Think I’m full of it? Do this immediately:
Go to your grocery store, walk down the healthy food aisles and snap pictures or write down the prices of every organic or natural healthy food or body care or cleaning item that you’d like to buy, but usually would not spend much on.
Go home to your computer (or use your phone) and click my link to Thrive Market and compare the prices.
Here is one prime example (screenshots from 10/31/18).
And look, just to show you how much cheaper it is, this compares ONLINE to ONLINE prices, not even ONLINE to STORE (which saves you crazy amounts more).
And this is vs. WALMART ONLINE, supposedly the cheapest place to shop on earth:
“Thrive” is the solution to making organic brands affordable.
Please do not confuse this Thrive with the Thrive beauty line pyramid sales program. No. Not that stuff.
Thrive Market is changing the way families shop for quality goods by offering over 4,500 organic, non-GMO brands at savings of up to 50%. They also ship it right to your doorstep.
What do they sell? It feels like everything. But in reality, think non-toxic cleaning supplies, organic groceries, clean cosmetics, and healthy snacks (but they don’t have Baruka Nuts yet! Hopefully they will soon).
The Thrive Market Collection is their home-brand, it’s full of top quality products at frighteningly (today is Halloween as I write this) affordable prices.
How is it so cheap?
They cut out the middle man, and did the dirty work of going to each of these healthy brands one by one and building a business model that would dropship all of their products. If that doesn’t make sense to you, just don’t worry about it. Enjoy the work they put in to organize this. Better access to healthier food means a better and healthier American society. That’s good for all of us.
Skip the drive.
Skip the lines.
Shipping is free on orders over $49 every damn time if you’re a member. I believe they let you make one order before becoming a member as a trial run. Membership is around $50-60 at the time I am writing this, but we save that in gas alone, not to mention the hundreds we save by not buying all this stuff from retail stores.
The filter by diet/type feature saves SO MUCH TIME.
Sold yet?
Here’s the best part: For every PURCHASED membership, Thrive Market DONATES a membership to a family in need.
They’ve made it their mission to make healthy food available to everyone.
Boom.
How can you not be on board with that?
It is still slightly more expensive than the cheap (unhealthy) groceries and goods, but if you are spending money on healthy stuff already, then make the move to Thrive. It’s a no brainer.
If you join Thrive Market by clicking this link, I will get $25 of in-store credit, and you will get 25% off your order. Simple as that.
Commonly written: arete
Sometimes written: arête (which is actually defined as a ‘sharp mountain ridge’. This is not correct, but the imagery of a ‘peak’ correlates strangely with our definition).
Defining areté
The most similar words to areté that we have in our modern english language would be virtue, excellence,greatness or goodness (in thought, in action, or both).
In its most basic sense, areté might be used to describe any person, thing, action, or thought, of which has achieved, or maintains a presence of, wholeexcellence.
Why is it so hard to define?
To depict areté in a simple way does injustice to its potency and meaning as a singular word. It has a somewhat elastic meaning depending on its context, but it’s tremendously inspiring. The greatest of things are not to be undersold. That is probably why we have no equivalent word in our modern English language.
Rhetoric does its best to describe an experience, and pictures/videos might do even better, but words cannot typically replicate our perception, in its totally, of an amazing event. “I’m speechless”, “Words cannot describe”, these are responses to moments that fall into a unique category of near divinity. We can’t pinpoint what left us in awe, but we felt it. Side note: Each experience is one’s own experience only. An example: Some cry tears of joy at the waving of a flag or in the presence of a religious statue, while others feel anger or injustice at the same sight.
We might take complex terms and use simple shared experiences to help us better understand them. That’s what storytelling and metaphors are used for.
To understand areté, we must have assimilated a great thing at least once before, in story or in reality, from which we can derive a shared meaning.
What’s the closest you’ve come to observing or feeling that awe? That moment of areté? Close your eyes and think back to the last time you were truly awestruck or breathless in observance of a person, thing, or event. Now, try to place yourself there again…
Origin of Areté
Where did we derive this thought? Of potentiality? Of fulfillment of purpose?
We have an innate obsession with reaching our fullest capacity.
“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”
– Steve Prefontaine
The vigor and passion of “chasing our dreams” or “doing something incredible” all stem from the thought that we each have a bound potential waiting to be unchained, and when we do, that is what it means to live.
We resent the lazy, the leeches, those who squander opportunity.
Where does this obsession and pride in personal mastery come from?
Religion?
Early in Christianity doctrine, God uses biblical figures to portray what the ideal person or what an ideal life might look like. Of course, later, in the new testament, Jesus Christ is the figure of exactly that—the ideal. This might be why, in America, that the pursuit of an ideal is so broadly understood, but areté is not biblical.
The thought originates in ancient Greece, and is tied inextricably to Greek philosophy.
An Act of Areté
We see it in the Iliad, associated with the perfect compilation of physical skill put to action. Characters like Achilles and Hector exemplified this perfect bodily representation of a war hero figure, who’s stature was associated with skill, bravery, tenacity, and valor.
Defining the entirety of what this word, areté, meant to the ancient Greeks, might be too difficult. So, we tell stories that others might resonate with. Only then can we begin to imagine the meaning of the word from the same platform. Although no story ever places the receiver of a message in the same exact mind-frame as the sender, it’s a better place to start than without the story.
Think about the defining, climactic action of your favorite characters and heroes, fiction or not.
It’s Dr. King on the podium, deviating from an already powerfully written speech, and changing the course of the world with his words.
It’s Carl Brashear (Cuban Gooding Jr) taking those damned 12 steps in the diver suit in the movie “Men of Honor”, with Chief Sunday (Robert DeNiro) passionately pushing him through it (video below – must watch).
It’s DaVinci painting the Mona Lisa.
It’s Leonidas of the brave “300”, fighting for Sparta’s freedom until his dying breath.
It’s Michael Jordan, dazzling us with a dribble move, then hitting a game winning jump shot in a championship game.
It’s Einstein working through an equation.
If we were to see one of these things, it’d most likely be unlike anything we’ve ever seen before, and likely, ever again.
At the moment we encounter a truly amazing feat, or a flawlessly executed endeavor, not only does the action rise above our perceptions of possibility, but it takes along with it every observer, transcending the grey, the mundane, the real, and approaching the ‘the ideal’, embodying pure perfection and inspiring limitless potential.
When we see this potential in action, we can better formulate our own unique, personal version of perfection. That might be your pursuit, that might be your areté.
Areté of a thing
Objects as well can have, or stand to represent, areté.
The perfectly designed home might be described as having areté, or it could also be used to describe the architect of such a home.
A pot or vase, crafted with an upmost artistic touch could have areté.
Areté of the Mind
Like the marines slogan “Be all that you can be.”, a life lived in areté would, in theory, include the actualization of our full potential. Of which we know, in itself, is an undefined pursuit.
What does true potential look like? How do we know if we’re on track?
“In The Odyssey, arete is used to describe Odysseus, who combines the warrior-hero’s courage with wit, cunning and resourcefulness. Arete is also used to describe Odysseus’s wife, Penelope, who demonstrates that even misfortune and sorrow can be suffered with excellence.
And lastly, the Greeks provide us with still another manifestation of arete : Socrates, a very new and different kind of Greek hero. Socrates was a real person, a Fifth Century BCE Athenian who has come to symbolize for us the life dedicated to the pursuit of moral and intellectual excellence.” ¹
The mind bears a stricter burden than the body or an object when it comes to excellence. Because we know that as humans, we are capable of malevolence, we know that a physical act of perfection could carry with it some evil intention or misguided abhorrence. Therefore, areté also implies the presence of honorable thought and moral choice. Humans distinctly have the ability to reason, and should therefore, use that reason for good.
The minds perceptions of excellence and perfection are often daunting. It almost never feels like the low hanging fruit. In fact, it frequently feels out of reach. That’s ok, though.
True excellence acts for us like the carrot dangling in the eyes of the horse, pushing us forward in a desirable direction, but never definably completing a linear course of action. What trajectory are we on? Our aim, and our intentional thought about our aim, offer an array of lessons in excellence. In Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”, the pursuit of a thing’s ideal shape or state would be its areté. Its the elusive achievement, but not for achievement’s sake, that we all strive for. Its always out of reach, but also coordinating our placement on the path that will show us exactly what we seek. Areté of the mind is a constant process in the practice of: excellence, wisdom, honor, virtue, knowledge, happiness, joy, wit, modesty, courage, mastery, love, honesty, synergy, valor, passion.
It is the goal we all seek.
Individual human potential.
The eminent figure.
To not only be great, but also morally sound.
To accomplish without conquering.
The true hero. To be not only the technical expert and great communicator, but also, the respected benevolent leader.
Each of us has our own distinct idea of what our life might be like if we committed to areté. The direction is unclear, the path unkept, but the purpose behind our decision to pursue it, is the only thing that matters.
Trying to live out our full-potential is far easier said than done, but there’s not better time to begin that journey than here and now.
Whether it’s to level-up and improve your already successful design or if you desperately need to make some changes, Tony outlines some of the necessary steps. They’re harder to implement than they look, but the first step is knowing what you have to do. … Tony Robbins 5 Simple Steps to Take Control of Your Life and Thrive
E-sports superstar, Ninja, is the first professional gamer to be featured on the cover of ESPN.
League of Legends, Call of Duty, Counterstrike, Overwatch, Fortnite. These are a few of the titles we should familiarize ourselves with.
The best players of these games are treated like celebrities. Many of the most notable ones are making well into the millions of dollars on endorsement deals and tournament prizes.
“More than 360 million people watched a livestream of a 2017 “League of Legends” eSports competition.” (Link).
That’s massively more engagement than both The Super Bowl and The NBA Finals.
WHAT?!
Are E-Sports a “sport”? Probably not.
However, if you’ve ever tuned in, there is a ton of vocal communication, strategy, critical thinking, and finger-eye coordination necessary to perform. It’s fascinating, and VERY difficult to be good at. But a sport? I’m not so sure.
They’re something much larger than that.
So, is anything that’s founded in competition considered a sport?
Stock trading?
Sales pyramids?
Grades in school?? — Wait, kids might be totally juiced up to see that the Spelling Bee Champ is featured on ESPN’s cover! Good idea! Nope. It’s a video game god instead.
A league of their own. A lot like current reality, but scarier.
I’ve been draw to the following terrifying thought for some time, but rarely voice it. Bare with me while I piece these ideas together.
Are we somehow drawn to self-sabotaging behaviors? People have a hard time accepting social hierarchies as a natural tendency already.
You know, the whole male-physical-dominance, capitalism, and success or social aptitude and status credited only to the people who learn how to ‘win the game’ (currently based on money and sex appeal). That’s a grossly lean explanation, but if you’re reading my blog, you’re probably intellectually sound enough to already understand the commonly-complained-about social structures. What happens then, when we plug into Virtual Reality (which is the obvious next step for E-Sports, and don’t argue with me on that) and the entire goal is to ‘compete for dominance’? Well, the trend is for more and more folks to be plugging in, right? We’re well aware of the possibility of future generations spending more time in virtual worlds than in reality. Is this the social structure we want to start with? Absolute dominance and 1% fame? Yikes. The socialists of the world should hate e-sports.
Many people dislike our current reality because they feel displaced, and unwanted, valueless to society at large… so they leave, and enter another world, sometimes virtual. It looks to me like we’re not heading toward greener pastures, though.
In these virtual worlds, these ‘games’, these sports: tyranny, power, and dominance is king. This is what we’ve popularized. The first big step toward VR in my opinion is Professional Gaming. The winners are celebrity heroes making millions while the majority-millions spend countless hours wasting away in these games without any hope for E-Fame.
Sound familiar?
Sounds eerily similar to what non-gamers and gamers alike currently complain about in our social circles and in the work place.
Chasing things like Money and Hollywood A-lists has left people depressed, anxious, and all-together miserable.
One real problem is, an e-gamer who’s not famous still doesn’t make minimum wage. They can’t take care of themselves.
They might waste away in the basement, shirt full of cheetoh crumbs and mountain dew stains, sometimes relying on their parents’ income to survive (this is a depiction of the extreme of course).
With so many folks tuned in, I have a hard time feeling good about the fact that we’ve chosen to replicate a tyrannical social structure and competitively dominant hierarchy within the most directly relevant virtual society that we know. Don’t get me wrong, traditional sports have the same primal aggression and simplistic hierarchy structure, but much fewer recreational athletes fall victim to the downsides. Real sports are actually a very healthy recreational activity. E-sports? Not so much.
To Ninja and other famous e-gamers, I don’t blame you one bit.
I speak to my wife and my closest friends about this frequently, and I hope that at some point I am able to talk to each of YOU about this as well.
WE’VE GOT TO MEET PEOPLE ON THEIR MEDIUM.
What I am about to say is one of the only reasons that I even spend (not waste) time on social media. This is not something to be taken lightly.
Trust me, there’s a very distinct sinister side to media, and it’s damn ugly; social media, and the entire culture of fleeting, dishonest, alternate personalities, BUT…
Where the cause of misery exists, so too must the forces that work against it.
I want to educate, to bring value, to serve. These technological communities can be of tremendous value to us if only the leaders of our world would join the party, and not for ‘the likes’. That dopamine hit can grab any of us, but we need leaders that don’t give a damn about clickbait and stats and ads and likes, but that want to “Make Wisdom Go Viral”, as so eloquently, and frequently, shouted by Jay Shetty.
“Ugh, social media is exhausting. It’s fake. It’s irrelevant. The people on there don’t matter anyway”. I’ve heard it all.
Maybe I’m ‘folding to pressure’. Maybe not. Look at any great leader, they’ve ALWAYS walked the streets of the people, even if it means having rocks thrown through their window, death threats, discouraging experiences, or harsh criticisms (from peers, too). To any self-reflecting person, it’s obvious that social media is equally as treacherous: depression, anxiety, suicide, failing critical thinking and communication skills that will ultimately lead to a very dull human experience unless our minds are completely wired to VR.
Professor of Leadership. That’s my title currently. How can I completely ignore THE MOST FREQUENTLY USED MEDIUM OF COMMUNICATION today, and call myself any sort of leader, or, an educator of leadership!
I plan to be one of them, one of the positive voices of great lasting impact, but we need so many more than what we have now.
This is a call to anyone that’s a true leader.
We have to learn the language. Simple as that. Like it or not.
I am talking to YOU!
If you hear this message, and most won’t, (it’s like a dog whistle — “the call to leaders”) but if it resonates with you, like it does to me, then I need to hear from you. Message me. It’s time to collaborate.
To me, the duty to education immediately follows any level of personal success or mastery. I have not mastered myself. Maybe you have. Although, I do feel comfortable saying that I’ve got a good foundation. I worked hard to build that.
While we continue this daunting climb, it becomes more and more evident to me that it is our DUTY to throw the rope back down, and pull everyone else up with us.
For some of you, I won’t take no for answer, you’re coming along. You know who you are. For others, let me know when you’ve made that choice.
I can help. I can educate you. Coach you. I can provide you the weapons you need. All you have to do is ask. Let’s lead.
The Inches Speech by Al Pacino in the movie “Any Given Sunday” gave me chills when my best friends and I, like some teenagers acting out a heroic warrior legacy, would listen to it before we set out for battle… football games.
The playing field is different for me now, and I must admit, I giggle a bit thinking about my 14 year old self listening to that speech, squeezing my hands over my headphones to block out the surrounding noise, Pacino’s words rattling through my skull:
“We can stay here and get the s*** kicked out of us, or, WE CAN FIGHT OUR WAY BACK! Into the light!”
“THAT’S WHAT LIVIN’ IS! THE 6 INCHES IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!”
Inch-by-inch.
That’s my story. Step-by-step. Scrapping my way out, from a meaningless, predestined self-sabotaging hell that I blindly accepted as ‘normal’ at one point in my life. Why? WE ARE NOT DISCIPLINED ENOUGH TO GET STARTED DOING THE THINGS THAT WE REALLY ACTUALLY WANT IN LIFE.
Not me. I wanted to be uncommon. To be great. The secret?
Inch-by-inch. Incremental progress.
I can’t give you a guide for every unique step, but understanding THE CONCEPT of incrementalprogress is a must.
Not one damn thing worth having or achieving in this life is randomly happened upon or a result of overnight fortune. It is always a culmination of time invested, preparedness for opportunity, often countless immensely agonizing thoughts, and mostly, disciplined consistency.
Read it again. Go back, and read it again, say it to yourself. ⇑
When I pulled out my notebook and began theorizing what it was, besides Pacino, that helped me to understand the importance of incremental progress, I came up with 4 very commonplace, basic training tools that anybody could implement into their life.
These 4, small, easy-to-do activities can help each of us train our brains to appreciate and catch momentum with incremental progress. The good thing, almost any person at any time of day, at any age, in any place, can do these things:
1) Piggy Bank
Seems like nobody keeps a piggy bank anymore. Maybe that’s because change is largely worthless these days. That said, we can just switch over to paper bills. I pop a $5 or $20 bill in a jar every couple days. There’s no better feeling than cracking that thing open and realizing that over time, the money we probably hadn’t been missing has been stacking up. Last time I cashed my piggy bank I had $600 saved up. Yay for me. Now I can afford 1 month of A/C in South Carolina. More importantly, it gave me the mental reinforcement that my consistent contributions truly were adding up.
2) Planting a Tree
This is a no brainer.
Planting and tending for trees probably takes the cake for “Most Life Metaphors Learned Ever”. Incremental progress, discipline, weathering storms, starting small (even when we’re weak) knowing that one day we’ll be strong and sturdy. It’s all there. Planting a tree, or tending a small garden in our yards is not only greatly beneficial to our overall psyche and worldview, but it’s a minimally time-consuming way to train our brains that consistent input starts the upward spiral, and we can physically see it every day/week/month that our tree continues to grow.
3) Physical Fitness
This one is easy. Even if it’s just a few walks a day or a 15 minute light rotational workout, consistency in a physical routine not only puts us in a better mood, but we’re mentally rewarded by the progress we see in the mirror. That’s usually incentive enough to keep going. Just a few days of discipline to build the momentum. That’s how most difficult tasks are, just need to take it rep-by-rep, inch-by-inch.
4) Book Reading
If you’re like me, a consistent reading habit has come way too late in your life. I look back and think, had I known how impactful reading was going to be on my overall success, I would’ve started a better habit years ago. “It’s boring” or “I’m a slow reader”, they’re the worst excuses. Start small. Incremental! If we do 5 pages a day before we roll out of bed, we can finish a book in a month or less. To people that rarely read, the idea of finishing 12 books in a year sounds ludicrous (Self-Check: what is the last year that you did that in?). What’s not so crazy sounding? 5 pages a damn day. It’s not a death sentence. Start there. It’s unbelievably healthy for us, and to be honest, once that train gets moving, it’s hard to stop. Addiction to something that makes us better? Impossible! Not really.
All 4 of these habits can be built into a daily schedule without much difficulty. Not to say that they won’t require some discipline, because they will. Over time, like all things, our natural understanding of incremental progress will improve with repetition.
If we train our brains with these habits, maybe we will one day stand as examples of how those small daily tasks are the only true way to achieve the great big dreams.
The inch-by-inch, step-by-step, theincrementalprogressmindset is one worth adopting.
Here are the 5 quotes that hung on handmade posters all over my bedroom for years, and are still hanging in my garage now, on the plywood wall between my stand-up work table and my pull-up bar. They may mean very little to you. They may change your life. If even one person experiences the latter, this post was worth it. I hope they spark a fire in you like they did me. After reading this, tell me your inspiring habits, I would love to read about/share them. #masteryourcraft
1. HBDYWI
How bad do you want it?
I’ve been quoting this with my little brother, James, who plays basketball at Ohio University, for years. So, maybe Eric Thomas heard me screaming it once and decided it’d be good content. I don’t know. It’s also the first tattoo James and I got together. Left hip.
If you’re struggling, it’s not too late to take a different approach. The cultural fortune and blessings, associated with proclaiming your resolutions aloud during the final countdown on December 31st, are lost. You get a 0-score for style/tradition points if you abandon your initial resolutions.
“No TRUE New Years resolution can start on January 17th!”
“Ok” [confidently brush your shoulders off].
Alas, this is a fact: a practice that works, started January 17th, is far greater than a resolution that started hot on January 1st and falls dead by January 22nd.
Author and success expert, Carol S. Dweck, has a chapter in one of her books that talks about fulfilling your potential. In it, she writes, “Genius is not enough; we need to get the job done.” Liken that to your New Years Resolutions, and you might realize that the genius behind your initial plan is only as meaningful as the actions that (do not) ensue.
“Genius is not enough; we need to get the job done.” – Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success).
There is no cure-all, but let me offer an idea that has helped me tremendously. Spoiler alert: this will be the only time that I downplay “taking action”.
I began this at the beginning of the 2017 year, and applied it again this year. It works. Here it is:
3 THOUGHTS PER YEAR
At the beginning of each new year, pick 3 thoughts, or topics.
WRITE THEM EVERYWHERE – walls, post it notes, desk drawers, phone background, desktop, bathroom stalls… you get the point.
They need to be extremely valuable for the upcoming year, but NOT ACTIONABLE (this seems counterintuitive, but is very important. I will explain shortly). Specifically, if it will help you most from Jan-Apr, then strongly consider it. I am a believer that the way you start dramatically influences your end results. If my 3 thoughts help me begin the year with 4 amazing months consecutively, then odds are that the last 8 won’t be too shabby either.
The purpose of these thoughts is not to formulate a one-size-fits-all action plan. The purpose is to change your overall approach. Consider it ‘mindset training’.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FAIL BECAUSE YOU PICK SPECIFIC ACTIONABLE TASKS ON DECEMBER 31st THAT ARE NO LONGER EFFECTIVE ON JANUARY 17th.
This has had a greater impact on my life than any diet, habit, or gym membership. Why? It’s about the attitude that you approach each day with. It always is. Your plan has to be able to ADAPT to looming adversity and a sporadic schedule. Your standards, however, don’t have to change.
Carry these THOUGHTS or THEMES with you everywhere, and use them the way that people use W.W.J.D. bracelets. Use these thoughts as a lens through which you see the world. Let them be a filter for your tough decisions.
Carry these THOUGHTS or THEMES with you everywhere, and use them the way that people use W.W.J.D. bracelets.
You will still be tasked with making good choices that contribute to your well-being, that is non-negotiable. The difference? You can adapt your daily action plan to your surroundings as needed. You can fail daily. You can succeed daily. But no failure or success will dictate the following day’s approach, which will change dramatically, but always contain with it, your 3 thoughts.
Reward and punishment system based on preset expectations for action, exit.
Enter, 3 THOUGHTS PER YEAR that influence your EVERY move. It becomes ok to fall down on a diet or meal plan from time to time if the goal is to “improve your Nutritional Education” rather than to “eat 100% Paleo Approved foods”. Thus, taking failure frustrations and lack of motivation out of the equation, and narrowing your focus on how to address each issue/choice individually. More simply, change 3 ways that you think about your day.
Best wishes. Love you all.
Here are the thoughts that I chose last year. They served me well.
2017 – Autonomy, Nutritional Education, Fearless
Here are the thoughts that I chose for 2018. So far, so good.
This post is about: #family, #holidays, #stresstips | Read time: 3 min
If you have the perfect family, and the perfect life, disregard this blog and go enjoy your break.
If you’re like the majority, where dealing with family and travel adds some level of unnecessary stress over the holidays, this might help:
MODERATION: Reminisce, indulge in laughter, stuff yourself with joy, but in all else, keep moderation in mind. “Too much” means something different to all of us, so be sound in your own judgement. People frequently regret eating too much, drinking too much, arguing too much, etc. The holidays are a time to relax your standards, but gluttony rarely results in happiness.
COMPOSURE: Family can test your patience. Stay composed. Travel adversity can break you down. Stay composed. Negative emotions multiply quickly. Stay composed.
AUTONOMY: You are not your family. You are an individual part of your family. This should resonate specifically with young adults still struggling to find an identity of their own. You are not your parents. You are not your grandparents. Staying respectful and cognizant of your families culture is essential, but not at the cost of your own well-being. If it means renting an AirBnb instead of sleeping on a blowup mattress next to your snoring uncle, or sneaking out with your fiance for a drink when everyone else is bickering, TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST! Unhealthy habits are NOT something that you need to partake in just because your family considers it normal. You do you. You can’t bring joy to others when, personally, you feel miserable.
BE PRESENT: Put your phone away. Engage in conversation. Show some interest in people. You’d be shocked how much pertinent wisdom your family members can share with you. It feels good to detach from pop culture for a bit, really, it does.
PERSPECTIVE: When you really think about it, holiday gatherings are the most (and maybe only) memorable times that you’ll have with family. Make the most of it while you can. At the end of the day, you have the luxury of going back to your own routine soon enough. Family is about sacrifice. Make others smile, even if it’s at your own expense. It’s not about you. We all fight our own battles. Showing empathy can give you great perspective with your family. Don’t boil over when you start to get heated. Put it on low and simmer down. Bite the bullet. Hold your tongue. Smile more. Even if it takes some fortitude, be the light for your family this holiday season. Odds are, some of them might be having as hard a time hanging out with you as you are with them 😉 You might even find common ground there, haha. Spread love, I hear it’s contagious this time of year.
